Duration of maternity leave varies for different women and transitioning back to work from delivery or maternity leave is not an easy task.
Back when you were pregnant, deciding when you would return to work after maternity leave might have seemed pretty simple. But now that you’ve been home with your baby and that circled date is getting closer, the transition likely feels anything but simple.
There are so many plans to put in place, like child-care, coordinating schedules with your partner and making a plan for pumping. The stressful feeling could be overwhelming, however, we want you to know that millions of women have managed the transition and you’ll get back into the swing of things too.
Many women feel as if they “lose” the last few weeks of their maternity leave because they’re looking toward the future and focusing on what’s going to happen. Instead, try to stay present, appreciate the break from work and cherish the time you have with your baby. Then, when you are apart, you can happily reminisce over the memories you have of your first weeks together.
These are tips that can help make transitioning back to work easily:
- Ask for flexibility
Feel free to ask for flexibility with work, that is. If going back to your full-time pre-pregnancy schedule doesn’t feel doable (or desirable), prior to your return, talk to your boss about other options. Can you switch to more flexible hours, work from home, part-time or even job share, if it makes sense for your position? Be prepared to suggest ways that a flexible arrangement might work so your boss knows you’re serious about making your new situation successful.
And if you think you need some more time probably due to health issues, feel free to ask your boss.
- Have a backup child care plan
Figuring out your child care set-up is a must, of course. Test out options ahead of your return date so you, your caregiver and your baby feel more comfortable when it’s time to go back to work. You’ll also want to have one or two backup plans for when your baby gets sick, your child care facility is closed or your babysitter unexpectedly gets stuck in traffic. Family members or friends might be an obvious choice. If the backup isn’t familiar with your child, consider making a “get-to-know-me” profile with basic details about her sleep and eating routines, likes and dislikes, and any important medical or allergy information.
- Get into a routine (and maintain it)
Babies and toddlers do best when their days are organized and predictable. If it’s possible and you haven’t already, try to maintain the same routine every morning. This is important for helping your family get into a normal rhythm. Remember, practice makes perfect!
- Prepare for pumping
If you’re planning to continue breastfeeding, make the transition to pumping a gradual one before your return date. Introduce the spoon feeding of breast milk to your baby at least three weeks before your start date, slowly adding more pumped-milk. (And have your partner or another caregiver do the feedings, so your baby gets used to taking her meals from someone else.) This transitional approach will help your baby adjust and give you plenty of time to get the hang of pumping.
Make a plan, too, for when and where you’ll pump at work. Give your employer a heads up that you’ll be pumping and confirm that there’s a clean, private space for you to pump that’s not a bathroom. You’re legally entitled to one. If you’re struggling with pumping (a common challenge among working moms) consider meeting with a lactation consultant to find ways to make it more manageable.
- Start midweek
Schedule your first day for later in the week so your first week back at work is a short one (minimizing the amount of time you spend away from your little one right off the bat). It’s a simple move, but it’ll make those first few days feel that much easier.
Other tips are:
- Prioritize your time and learn to get comfortable with delegating too — with your coworkers and your partner or family members. The more nonessentials you can take off your plate, the more you can focus on what matters.
- Reach out to others for help.
- Make time for yourself, get as much rest as possible by going to bed at a reasonable time and try to nap when the baby naps on the weekends. Engage in exercise and fun activities.
However note that you may experience separation anxiety from being away from your baby after so much time together and many uncertainties may show up but the important thing is to value your own needs and ignore other people’s opinions. Make decisions based on what you think is best for your baby and yourself. And whenever those feelings of guilt start to creep in, remind yourself: when you care for yourself, you’re also helping your baby.
Allow yourself to enjoy the good emotions; the sense of pride that comes from doing work you enjoy, for instance, and the relief of knowing that your baby is okay when you’re apart. Accepting these happy feelings instead of feeling guilty or ashamed about them can help you better tolerate the bad ones.